You Know You’ve Played Too Much Resident Evil When You…
By Ben Salter
In anticipation for the Australian launch of Resident Evil 5 on March 12 many fans would have madly been playing through past games in the series. I’ve been playing one of my favourite games of all time, Resident Evil 4, and no doubt if time had permitted I would be playing through every single installment in the main series.
Resident Evil 5 is one of the most anticipated games of the year; dedicated fans have read all of the previews, watched all of the trailers and replaced their girlfriends with an RE5 screen as their phone wall paper.
For the Resident Evil faithful here’s a list of common symptoms to be on the lookout for to determine if you’ve played too much Resident Evil in the lead up to Resident Evil 5.
1. Kick every door open
No matter where you are it’s imperative that you kick the door open when ever possible. The boss may have a problem with this at work and could result in serious injury if you attempt to kick an automatic door. Around the house you kick open your unlocked front door.
2. Want a shotgun
When everyone laughs it off or tells you you’re crazy you simply reply with “when the zombies come I’ll be ready”
3. Tried to create a T-Virus at school
You spent every lesson in school sciences labs trying to create the T-Virus. There were also plans to develop the G-virus to fuse the two into the tG Virus, but you had a chemistry test that day.
4. Eat a lot of green leafy foods hoping they are herbs
Your mother is shocked to find you eating your greens, even more so when she finds you trying to mix them together in a test tube.
5. Use your middle initial
Following the lead of Leon S. Kennedy you insist that everyone refer to you by your full name using your middle initial, including the people at Boast Juice.
6. Use first aid spray when you cut yourself shaving
And it made things a lot worse because you just sprayed something that may have been spray paint onto an open wound, but at least your health bar will be fully healed this way.
7. Shop with the shiftiest looking merchant around
When at the market you always look for a shifty guy in a trench coat who greets his customers with ”Welcome Stranger”.
8. Cringe when someone doesn’t stop to shoot on the big screen
You yell at the screen when watching a movie or TV show if the character doesn’t stop moving to shoot or reload.
9. Are appalled that typewriters can’t save
WHAT! After searching high and low for that ink ribbon you find that typewriters can’t actually save anything. File > save damn it!
10. Look for important objects in boxes
When looking for something important a random box is the first place you go. Even if they belong to someone else you know that anything important will be in a random box.
Resident Evil 5 will be released in Australia and New Zealand on March 12th 2009 for the Sony PlayStation 3 and XBOX 360.
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